There were three generations together in the same room: a mother, a grandmother and a 2-year-old boy. “I don’t know how you did it mom, I mean you raised six kids, and I’m going out of my mind with just one,” the young mother said. Her mother smiled, and replied, “I know how I did it dear. I surrendered. Maybe you’re still resisting?” I heard that exchange and it started me thinking about the meaning of “surrender.” This little word contains the secret of the ages. No one really wants to surrender, and yet we all do in one way or another. For some of us, life imposes it on us. It seems as if we older folks grew up in a simpler time when surrender was more widely practiced. In those days the “surrender” asked of us was seen by many of us in a religious context, as being related to the surrender of Jesus on the cross. His acceptance of suffering was our inspiration when we faced hardships in life, and, for many of us older folks, it still is! We all realize that surrender is easier when it’s done with love. Ideally, surrender is a prayer, a way of offering ourselves to God body and soul, the good things and the bad, too. How did the grandmother do it? She said yes even when she felt like saying no, and she prayed for the gift of joyful acceptance. She surrendered to the tasks of motherhood without any fanfare because she wanted that peace that this world cannot give. She wanted to create a happy life for her family and to bear good fruit in harmony with God’s will. In other words, she saw motherhood as her vocation. In the past, surrender was sometimes thought to include the acceptance of psychological or even physical abuse. This idea is totally unacceptable. Today’s view of surrender is more nuanced. No one is called by God to be a doormat. All abuse should be exposed and punished. True surrender brings dignity to a person; it does not degrade them. The grandmother made a good case for true surrender, which is a conscious choice that evokes gladness in one’s heart. It does so because the focus is always on God’s will: to serve others and not to focus on the self. It is learning the true meaning of “thy will be done.” The Lord is aware that life, with its many challenges and sorrows, is often a penance. We all pine for happier times, especially when we’re in distress. This deep yearning is a desire for God himself. It will always be with us, comfort us, not let us perish. But be at peace even when you think God is silent. Know that his strength is supporting you on good days and bad. The definition of the word “surrender” is found in the title of the great Catholic classic “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jesuit Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade. Sometimes, this abandonment to God’s will, in spite of what feels like silence, makes it possible for you to rejoice even more when his mercy and goodness come through loud and clear. Spiritual surrender is described by St. Paul who tells us that love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor 13:7). It is in true surrender that we find supernatural joy. It is not always something you feel; one can’t always depend on feelings. However, in times when you feel no joy you know the truth that God is holding you in the palm of his hand.