When I was a student in Catholic school, St. Patrick’s Day was up there on the list of holidays. Sure, we didn’t get out of school … but we could swap our usual navy blue school sweaters for green on that day (although the plaid skirts were still required). And it allowed for the annual partisan boasting between supporters of St. Patrick and those of St. Joseph, for whom we could wear red two days later. A few decades on, we find all kinds of bar-based St. Patrick’s Day parties and events. Chances are your favorite Chicago sports team offers a green St. Patrick’s Day-themed jersey. The Chicago River is still dyed green and we are back to two St. Patrick’s Day parades in the city, although neither is on the day itself. For St. Joseph? A lot of parish-based St. Joseph tables, but not much else. While my dearly beloved Irish grandmother might not appreciate my saying so, when it comes to food, St. Joseph’s Day beats St. Patrick’s Day hands down. He also probably beats St. Patrick when it comes to people knowing his story. Pretty much every Christian could probably identify St. Joseph as Mary’s husband, the man who protected and provided for and helped raise the child Jesus. St. Patrick, contrary to what holiday decorations might indicate, was not a little man in green top hat with a pot of gold. Those would be leprechauns. I won’t say leprechauns don’t exist, in case I ruin anyone’s active fantasy life, but I will point out that we have an actual historical record of St. Patrick’s life. He was born somewhere in the late fourth century in what is now northern England or Scotland, to Roman parents, and was captured and brought to Ireland as a slave when he was a teenager. He escaped back to Britain and his family after about six years and studied to be a priest. Years later, he was ordained a bishop and sent to bring the Gospel to Ireland sometime in the mid-fifth century. He preached and converted thousands of people, building church after church. He died at Saul on March 17, 461, according to tradition, although that has been disputed, with some placing his death as late as 492. Two undated letters that he wrote give some information on his activities, including baptizing “thousands.” Legend has it that he used the shamrock to teach about the Trinity, and that he banished snakes from Ireland. No record exists of him using shamrocks in his preaching, and there is no evidence that there ever were any snakes in Ireland to banish. So this year, remember the real St. Patrick on his feast day. Eat corned beef and cabbage, and maybe some soda bread, and raise a Guinness or a Harp if you’re so inclined, but please, no green beer.