During the annual Golden Wedding Mass at Holy Name Cathedral on Sept. 17, nearly 400 couples renewed the vows they first made in 1973.

In his homily, Cardinal Cupich said the grace the couples received through the sacrament of marriage has helped them make it through the good and the bad times.

Part of that grace is the ability to forgive and receive forgiveness, which the Mass readings for the day centered around, he said.

As a priest, Cardinal Cupich would regularly review the readings for the wedding Mass with couples planning to marry before their weddings. When they chose the readings proclaimed during the Golden Wedding Mass, Sir 27: 30 — 28:7, Rom 14:7-9 and Mt 18:21-35, the couples would share what they meant to them.

“We heard in that first reading how anger and wrath can hug our hearts, can take over our lives to the point where we become different persons, so we need that grace over and over to make sure that we deal with that resentment, [the couples] said. We’ve all known people who carry deep resentment and hurt in their life or who have anger just tearing them apart,” Cardinal Cupich said.

Hearing from married couples has enriched his ministry, he said.

“The grace that you received when you pledged your lives to each other was not some sort of magical formula, something that was given all at once,” Cardinal Cupich said. “The Holy Father has said, ‘Grace doesn’t come to make us supermen where everything will change.’ But it comes in those particular moments in which we are challenged in life, but also given the possibility to grow in our humanity, to grow in our relationships with one another. I have learned that from so many married couples.”

Following the homily, the couples stood and Cardinal Cupich led them in renewing their vows.

Many family members attended the Mass to show support for their loved ones. That included Father Robert Ryan, associate pastor of Sts. Joseph and Francis Xavier in Wilmette, whose parents, Sue and Steve Ryan, celebrated their 50th anniversary at the Mass. Ryan concelebrated the Mass with Cardinal Cupich.

“My parents are my heroes,” said Ryan, who is one of three children. “They’re high school sweethearts. I left the faith for 11 years, and they were the ones who brought us up in the faith and always just showed us how important God was, not only in their marriage, but in our family and in our life. I have them to thank for everything.”

Asked about reaching 50 years of marriage, Sue Ryan said, “You have to be best friends first. And willing to work hard at it. You take the good with the bad.”

Steve Ryan added that he and his wife have always worked together through the ups and downs.

Edward and Georgina Cortes of St. Mary, Star of the Sea Parish, 6425 S. Kilbourn Ave., shared what they believe it takes to make it to 50 years as a married couple.

“A lot of patience and a lot of comprehension,” Edward Cortes said. “When you’re down, you have to stick to it and survive, even when the water is sky high, you just have to pray to the good Lord to help us out. One of the secrets is, when we’re really down is to pray to him to help us out.”

“A strong faith, a lot of love and patience,” is the key to success, Georgina Cortes said. “That will get us through anything.”

They had close family members join them in celebrating. Both the Corteses and the relatives who came to support them suffered heartbreak through the deaths of their daughters just days apart. The Corteses’ daughter died of an aneurysm, and their family members’ daughter died shortly after from cancer.

“They grew up together. They went to Queen of Peace together,” Edward Cortes said. “It’s the hard times, and we’ve been together as family. We consult each other. That’s exactly what family is.”  

Deacon Daniel Welter and his wife, Martha, also celebrated their golden wedding anniversary with family at the cathedral, where he also ministers.

“What gives you 50 years of marriage? Love, compassion, forgiveness and inclusion,” Welter said. “That’s what I tell all couples when I do their wedding prep at the cathedral.”

Love is always other-centered, he said.

“You want to be nothing but your best for them and you want nothing but the best for them,” he said. “Compassion means to be willing to suffer with, to go through the ups, and, more importantly, the downs with somebody. It’s a real important part of that.”

He agreed with what Cardinal Cupich said in his homily, that couples need to forgive each other over and over again, he said.

“We’re humans and we screw up,” Welter said. “To ask for it and to grant it, even better, is where we’re most God-like.”

Inclusion means giving your whole self to the other, he said.

“All the parts we’re proud of and all the parts that we’re ashamed of, because they accept us fully. That’s a gift where we are very God-like, because God accepts all of us with all of our flaws,” Welter said. “He doesn’t just want the good parts, he wants to work on the others too.”