In the last three years, more than 400 people at Most Blessed Trinity Parish in Waukegan have come forward as victims of domestic violence. But many of them did not know that there was anything unusual about their circumstances, said Carmen Patlan, the director of social concerns for the parish. “They say, this is what it was like for my mom, this is what it was like for my grandma, this is the way my dad treated my mom, so it’s just normal,” Patlan said. In response, the parish created its Family Wellness program, with the goals of preventing domestic violence, offering support to victims, and ultimately reuniting families with a foundation of mutual respect. The program received a $15,000 grant from the Catholic Campaign for Human Development this year. The campaign, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ domestic anti-poverty program, will hold its annual collection at Masses the weekend of Nov. 20- 21. It aims to support organizations that help poor people address the root causes of poverty. At Most Blessed Trinity Parish, the grant to the Family Wellness program is paying for Domestic Violence Awareness Training, which is required for all who are active in a parish ministry. The training helps parish leaders recognize the signs of domestic violence. “The victims and the perpetrators of domestic violence try to hide it,” Patlan said. “But you can see it.” Women are invited to the Phoenix support group, which had about 35 members in mid-November, Patlan said, and their children have their own group meeting at the same time. “It gives them a place where they don’t have to worry about what is going to happen at home,” she said. The women also can take part in an art class. When it began, with a professional artist acting as the volunteer teacher, the women used donated paints and painted on cut-up cardboard boxes. They later received an anonymous gift of 100 canvases and they are pooling contributions of $1 per class to buy paint and other supplies. Fourteen men, most former domestic violence perpetrators, are in the Kenosis men’s group. “The idea when we started that was to have healthy guys say to others, ‘I’m going to this meeting. Come with me,’” Patlan said. Members of the groups learn what domestic violence is and how to change the pattern, Patlan said. Women learn that they should be treated with respect, Men learn why violence towards others in the home is harmful. “We have men who are saying to themselves, ‘Why isn’t she affected by what I’m saying? Why is she smiling now and I’m not?’” Patlan said. The project is especially effective because, in its largely Latino community, turning to the church for help does not have the same stigma as turning to other social service providers. Twelve couples who have been part of the program have given testimonials about how it has brought them closer together and improved their marriages. At one event, a couple spoke about the benefits of the program and were joined by their 14-yearold son, who was helping with the sound system. The boy had once struggled in school, but when his home became more peaceful, he ended up on the honor roll, but that wasn’t the most important change. “He said he learned from his parents how to treat your family, how to treat a woman, how to respect a woman,” Patlan said.