Your marriage is important to the Catholic Church. That is the underlying message of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ pastoral letter “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan.” Released by the U.S. bishops during their meeting last November. After just wrapping up Valentine’s Day celebrations and gearing up for wedding season, we thought now would be a good time to take a look at what this document has to offer. Here are some excerpts from “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan.” — Joyce Duriga A blessing for all “While marriage is a special blessing for Christians because of the grace of Christ, marriage is also a natural blessing and gift for everyone in all times and cultures. It is a source of blessing to the couple, to their families, and to society and includes the wondrous gift of co-creating human life. Indeed, as Pope John Paul II never tired of reminding us, the future of humanity depends on marriage and the family.” What is marriage? “The church has taught through the ages that marriage is an exclusive relationship between one man and one woman. This union, once validly entered and consummated, gives rise to a bond that cannot be dissolved by the will of the spouses. Marriage thus created is a faithful, privileged sphere of intimacy between the spouses that lasts until death. “Marriage is not merely a private institution, however. It is the foundation for the family, where children learn the values and virtues that will make good Christians as well as good citizens.” Rooted in biology “While human persons are more than biological organisms, the roots of marriage can be seen in the biological fact that a man and a woman can come together as male and female in a union that has the potential for bringing forth another human person. This kind of union fills the need for the continuation of the human race. Since human beings exist at more than a biological level, however, this union has further personal and spiritual dimensions. Marriage does not exist solely for the reproduction of another member of the species, but for the creation of a communion of persons.” What if you can’t have kids? “It is true that some marriages will not result in procreation due to infertility, even though the couple is capable of the natural act by which procreation takes place. Indeed, this situation often comes as a surprise and can be a source of deep disappointment, anxiety and even great suffering for a husband and wife. When such tragedy affects a marriage, a couple may be tempted to think that their union is not complete or truly blessed. This is not true. The marital union of a man and a woman is a distinctive communion of persons. An infertile couple continues to manifest this attribute.” After the kids are gone “Even when their child-bearing years have passed, a couple should continue to be life-affirming. They can do this by staying involved in the lives of young people, and especially their grandchildren, as spiritual mentors, teachers and wisdom figures. They can also continue to be nurturing through the exercise of care for those who are needy, disabled or pushed to the margins of society, and by their support for or participation in works of charity and justice.” Intercourse as a marital act “Sometimes one hears it said that as long as the marriage as a whole is open to children, each individual act of intercourse need not be. In fact, however, a marriage is only as open to procreation as each act of intercourse is, because the whole meaning of marriage is present and signified in each marital act. “Each marital act signifies, embodies and renews the original and enduring marital covenant between husband and wife. That is what makes intercourse exclusively a marital act. Engaging in marital intercourse is speaking the language of the body, as Pope John Paul II calls it — a language of personal communion in complete and mutual self-donation.” Same-sex unions “Marriage is a unique union, a relationship different from all others. It is the permanent bond between one man and one woman whose two-in-one-flesh communion of persons. Therefore, attempting to redefine marriage to include such relationships empties the term of its meaning, for it excludes the essential complementarity between man and woman, treating sexual difference as if it were irrelevant to what marriage is.” As a vocation “The church teaches that marriage is an authentic vocation or devine call. As a vocation, marriage is just as necessary and valuable to the church as other vocations. For this reason, all of us should pray that men and women will enter into marriage with the proper understanding and motivation and that they will live it generously and joyfully. “As with every vocation, marriage must be understood within the primary vocation to love, because humanity ‘is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love.’” Pornography and adultery “Pornography, particularly Internet pornography, is a serious threat to marital chastity and is gravely immoral. The Internet has made pornography readily accessible within the privacy of one’s home. Using pornography can quickly become an addiction that erodes trust and intimacy between husband and wife and, in some cases, leads to the breakup of the common life of the spouses. “A truly serious violation of marital chastity is adultery. It violates the marriage covenant and erodes the basic trust needed for a persevering total gift of self, one to the other. It is important that this be acknowledged as seriously sinful behavior, undermining the promised exclusive fidelity, sowing the seeds of marital breakdowns and causing incredible harm to children. “A strong defense against these temptations is a marriage that is continually growing in physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy. Communication and relationship skills are crucial to building such intimacy. As spouses learn to improve their communication, they can better respond to each other’s need for love, acceptance and appreciation. They deepen marital intimacy and strengthen their practice of chastity.”