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Getting women to ‘Think Like a Man’

By Sister Helena Burns FSP | Contributor
Sunday, May 6, 2012

When I read comedian Steve Harvey’s serious book: “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” my first thought was: “Wow! He’s breaking the code of silence! Men must think he’s a traitor telling the ladies all their secrets!”

Inspired by Harvey’s book, “Think Like a Man” is about a group of guyfriends who realize that the women in their lives are using the book to “change the game” and get what they want from the relationship. The men decide to use the same book to make the women think they are getting what they want. But, as the voice-over says: “The only problem with pretending to step up? You may find that you actually have to step up.”

Harvey’s main point to women is that men are inherently lazy, or rather, that they’ll take the easy way out whenever given it. (The “player” character admits he prefers women with “no standards.”) Women need to raise the bar. Women need to require men to do certain things and take certain steps in the relationship.

The book itself is brilliant, exceedingly helpful, and is quoted all through the movie. However, one unfortunate guideline in the book is “The 90-Day Rule,” that is, women should make men wait 90 days for sex, and then it’s OK. Of course, this is a longer waiting period than many, many “couples” utilize, so at least it’s getting people thinking about the value of waiting at all. However, the church’s teaching to keep sex in marriage is still the best way to go.

The film good-naturedly calls love a “battlefield” and accuses the ladies of starting the “war.” Guy “types” (player, mama’s boy, dreamer, non-committer, happily married man, miserably divorced man who thinks he’s happy) are pitted against gal “types” (powerful CEO that can’t find her equal, the one-night stand woman, the woman in the live-in relationship whose partner is too comfortable and is not proposing, the single mom who can’t find a guy who likes kids). These are, of course, extremely realistic and common situations.

The conclusion of the film is a kind of a win-win for both sides. It’s true that men are leaders in so many ways, but women must also exert their feminine power to help shape overgrown boys into real men — not to emasculate them, but to call them to true manhood.

Guys may rise to the occasion kicking and screaming, but as Harvey says in his book: Down deep, men really want to be the real men that women want.