Growth and affirmation Is 50:5-9a; Ps 116:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 8-9; Jas 2:14-18; Mk 8:27-35 In my early 20s I was in seminary and living in a community house with five other lay women. We not only lived together, but we went to classes together, too. We cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped and generally spent most of our time together. Four of our housemates were very outspoken personality types. In and out of class they often spoke about the importance of community, compassion and taking care of others. When it came to social and political matters, they leaned toward the more progressive side. I did, as well, so it did not bother me to hear them express their opinions. One of our roommates, however, did not share the same perspective and she sometimes struggled listening to their discussions. She kept her thoughts to herself for quite some time. Once she felt more comfortable, she began to join their discussions. The response she received was often condescending and belittling. From that time on she was treated as if she were less evolved than the rest of the group. She was regularly lectured to and accused of not being a compassionate person. She, however, continued to treat our roommates with the same kindness and generosity she always had. I remember one day I woke up feeling sick. I had a very high fever and could not walk in a straight line. I needed to lean on a wall remain upright. I informed the whole house that I was sick and would stay in my room to try to contain whatever illness I had contracted. Yet, it was not the roommates who often spoke of the importance of compassion and community who offered to help me. It was the roommate they had written off who watched over me. She took me to the doctor. She made sure I had food, water and medicine. She checked in on me regularly and stayed close to the house in case my condition worsened. One day I received a call from another one of our other roommates while my roommate caretaker was in class. She had called me because she wanted to walk to her favorite ice cream shop but did not want to go alone. I reminded her that I was sick and could not accompany her. She was disappointed in my response and argued, saying I would feel better if I went for a walk. She hung up in a huff. I was not surprised or offended by her behavior. One of the greatest skills my mother taught me was to look for behavior patterns in others rather than solely listen to what they say. As such, I am not often surprised when someone is not who they present themselves to be. In this week’s readings, we read about words and actions. We hear how one can talk about their faith while not truly living it out (Jas 2:14-18). We see Peter profess his belief in Jesus as the Messiah, then reject Jesus’ teaching immediately afterward (Mk 8:28, 32). We are encouraged to hear and speak, provided we act in accordance with what we hear and say (Is 50:5; Jas 2:14-18; Mk 8:34). This is perhaps one of the most difficult balances to find in life. Sometimes we do not live up to the principles we espouse. Imperfection is part of being human — and God does not require perfection. We cannot dwell on every mistake we make. What we want to notice is when a once occasional behavior is becoming a pattern. When we notice that change happening, we need to attend to it. If it is a negative behavior, we can seek help from family, friends or a therapist to help us understand what we are struggling with so that we can change this pattern. It is equally important to notice positive changes, too. Whether it is eating a salad everyday or being more patient, taking a moment to appreciate our hard work helps us to continue making positive changes. Perhaps this week we can all take some time to think of our own patterns. Where might there be room for growth and room for affirmation of your hard work?
About the Author Kate Oxsen is an assistant professor of Old Testament studies at Catholic Theological Union.